Oh brothers and sisters, I have great news to exclaim. The true church of God no longer has just a single profit at its head, but now has 16. That's right, I said 16. Here is the official press release:
Official LDS News Release
Now you know that when it comes to church doctrine, it is not only the profit that is speaking, but the quorum of the 12 apostles and the first presidency and the presiding bishop, all speaking the truth. Nay sayers will try to point out that this means we don't have a profit at all, that direct communication from God must go thru correlation, but I poo poo such falty reasoning.
We have not lost a profit, we have gained an additional 15 profits.
This is a time for rejoicing for the time is drawing near that Joseph will return to claim his throne on the left hand of God. (Jesus already took the right hand)
Molly the Mormon