Thursday, September 27, 2007

Sunbeam and Brimstone Points

Dear brothers and sisters, I have decided to create a new feature to my blogernacle where I display both Sunbeam and Brimstone points. This will give you a chance to see how you are doing on your quest for eternal perfection. This is not to create rivalries or jealousies, but should be veiwed as encouragement.

I now have everyone listed with the number of Sunbeam and Brimstone points they have earned to this point. I will keep the listing updated from this point forward.

How It Works
When I observe a worthy act on this blog, I offer a Sunbeam point, and vice versa, a Brimstone point. Totally subjective on my part.

The way you get rid of a Brimstone point is to earn 10 Sunbeam points. Although your Brimstone point will be changed to 0, your name will remain on the Brimstone list as a reminder of what can happen when you let go of the rod of righteousness.

This is not an official declaration, but you can assume that the following rankings are a somewhat accurate assessment of where you are in the eternal scheme of things:

1-10 points = member
11-20 points = deacon
21-30 points = teacher
31-40 points = priest
41-50 points = elder
51-60 points = bishop
61-70 points = steak president
71-80 points = seventy (of course)
81-90 points = apostle
91-100 points = profit
100+ points = calling and election made sure

I must point out that women are only eligible for member status regardless of the number of Sunbeam points they earn.


Molly the Mormon

Saturday, September 22, 2007

LDS Church Issues Statement of Regret for Massacre

Oh brothers and sisters, aren't you excited about the recent apology issued by the profit regarding the mountain meadows massacre? This apology disolves the church of any wrong doing and clears brother brigham of any involvement. Now we can finally put this over blown event to bed. Honestly, what is all the fuss about. Lamanites used to kill wagon trains all the time. Everyone blames brother brigham for not stopping this event. Well, my take is that if the Lord didn't allow brother brigham to stop the massacre, it was probably meant to happen. I mean, it is known fact that the members of the wagon train killed Parley Pratt and bragged about being at carthage jail when our beloved Joseph was martered. The fact that so many false stories have come out blaming Mormons for the massacre that it only serves to strengthen my testimony of Joseph Smith.

I admonish you to take the mountain meadows massacre challenge and pray to see if these things are true. Don't believe what you read on the internet. It is all false. Believe only in your own faith and testimony, and you will come to realize that the Lamanites didn't know what they were doing and probably acted under the direction of the Lord.


Molly the Mormon