Saturday, September 09, 2006

Follow the Profit

I still remember the song "Follow the Profit" from primary. It is to this day one of my favorite songs, and its words are wisdom to live your life by. I mean think about it. The profit has a direct line of communication with the lord, and as such knows what is best for us. Follow the profit, he knows the way. Whenever the profit speaks, you should listen intently and treat his speech as scripture. After all, when the profit speaks, the thinking has been done. Isn't that a wonderful feeling? You don't have to clutter your day with wondering what to do. Just follow the profit!! Be prepared to do whatever he asks of us. We all know that the end of days is upon us, and the world will surely be thrown into chaos. We should stand by and wait for the profit to tell us what to do when that happens. He might tell us to load up our SUVs and Ford Trucks with food and ammunition and meat at the Steak Center. There we can protect our food and our families, with force if we have to, and against any enemy. We are so lucky in the mormon church to have a profit to guide us in these latter days. We thank thee oh god for a profit.

Molly the Mormon

10 comments:

The Sinister Porpoise said...

Yes, all those of us who run ads on our Blogs do indeed thank God for a profit. Have you considered an Amazon script on your blog so we can order uplifting and educational materials about God's one true church and maybe Mormon stuff as well?

Molly The Mormon said...

Oh, sinister porpoise, that's a great idea! I will look into that.

Thanks so much.

Simeon's Peep Stone said...

Molly, I love what you write. It's so true.

Molly The Mormon said...

Why, thank you simeon. I love that name. Is that from the Book of Mormon? I'm glad to have faithful followers of truth like you visit my blogernacle.

Follow the profit,

Molly the Mormon

Sister Mary Lisa said...

BTW, Molly, I just now noticed your witty re-wording of the blog names on your "lds unfriendly links". Had to laugh. Good one! You are very witty.

Arizona Expositor said...

Molly the Mormon, I love it, oozing sarcasm like no other. Thanks for the link. Glad to see another Provoite in Outer Blogness trying to save us from ourselves.

Yours Truly,
Arizona Expositor

Molly The Mormon said...

Arizona,

I'm not sure what you mean by sarcasm, but I'll give you credit for saying something nice.

You get a Sunbeam point.

Molly the Mormon

Watchout said...

OMG,
I have to say that this is my favorite entry from your blog!

Keep up the GOOD work....

Anonymous said...

Mocking Gods true church with bring judgments to you all at the last day, consider yourselves warned

swarthy gentleman said...

Molly, I love your blog.How would you feel about an affair with a beautiful black man with a foot and tickle fetish?
I love the sarcasm, keep up the good work!The mormon church is about as phony as a three dollar bill!