Perversions of the Natural Man

Oh brothers and sisters, recent events have caused me to post about something very serious. Lustful perversions. I think it is of utmost importance that you pay close attention to this topic as it is obvious that many here have need of chastisement.
Let's discuss the top 10 perversions here:

1. Greed - Leads to Envy
2. Envy - Leads to Lust
3. Lust - Leads to Pornography
4. Pornography - Leads to Gay Pornography
5. Gay Pornography - Leads to Gayism
6. Gayism - Satin's plan to prevent the second coming

See a pattern here?

7. Alcoholism - Leads to Idleness
8. Idleness - Leads to Extra-marital sex
9. Extra-Marital Sex - Leads to Abortion
10. Abortion - Satin's backup plan to prevent the second coming

I think this illustration makes it perfectly clear how one little slip-up can lead you down the crooked path, yea even the slippery slope that either ends in Gayism or Abortion. Both of these evils prevent our spirit siblings from inhabiting their earthly tabernacles, thus preventing the second coming of Joseph.

Can't you see the cunning ways of satin? Can't you see how important it is to hold to the rod of righteousness and to follow the straight and narrow path that leads back to brother Joseph?

Brothers and Sisters, I testify to you here today, that these things are true, and if you heed this council, you will be blessed with the spirit of Joseph and hope of Heber.

These things I leave with you in the name of Joseph Smith

Ramiumptum,

Molly the Mormon